An interesting mugging

I decided to go to the friendly neighborhood mosque one fine day last Ramazan. I parked the car a block away since that was the closest parking place I could find. I saw a motorbike standing at a distance with a suspicious looking character near the corner of the road that led to the mosque. I stopped and waited for him to leave. He left talking and gesticulating loudly to himself. I figured him out to be a harmless loony and exited the vehicle. As I was walking down the road I heard the motorbike turning. I was like Oooh Shit. And tried to walk away from the road. Stupid move really since there was nowhere to go.

He called Out: kahan Bhaagaay gaa? (Where do u think u can run) He had a point so I stopped trying to inch behind a car.

Him: Paisay day day. (Give me money)

Me: I don’t have my wallet yaar Masjid jaa raaha houn..Talaashi lay lo (I am going to the mosque search me and see for yourself (By sheer coincidence I actually had forgotten my wallet at home)

Him: (Quite politely ) Main goli maar doing gaa ( I will shoot you)

And to convince me of the seriousness of his threat. he fumbled for some time trying to get his gun out. it was a local darra made 14 shot TT. Absolute Junk.. It was obviously his pride and joy. It was stuck to his side and was all carefully wrapped up in a piece of semi transparent cloth.

(Apparently, i was supposed to wait till he would take it out.. Open up the parcel. Load the weapon and point and shoot)

Him: There must be money and your wallet in your car. Lets get it.

Me: Why.. would I leave my wallet in the car?

Him: You must have a mobile

Me: Here take it.

He opened it and gave me the cover and took out the sim.

Me: Thanks

Him: I wont give u the data card. Unless you have family pics

Me: of course I have family pics..

Him: oh sorry i have a family too. here take it.

Then as an after thought he added: I have a family too.. I really dont want to do this. But there are (Majburian) circumstances that I can’t control.

I have no idea if he wanted to condole me for robbing me or wanted my forgiveness..

The mobile in question was a broken down old Q that I had been lugging around for purely sentimental value. When i had gone to buy a smart phone i was offered around Rs. 100 for it. The smartphone was in my pocket. Which he never checked. Nor did he try to divest me of my watch. Nice of him really.

Him: Are you sure you don’t have any money on your car? He asked me hopefully.

No i am afraid I don’t I said trying to look as regretful as possible.

Him: maaf karna bhai ( forgive me brother) And actually shook hands with me and left. (If not for the gift wrapped TT I might have embraced him with brotherly love and affection)

Later at the gate of the mosque a heroic-young-man asked me to hop on his bike so that we could go and catch him. I was like umm err Ok. I made the heroic-young-man stop near my car to retrieve my pepper spray. I figured me and the heroic-young-man evened the odds a bit with the pepper spray against the gift wrapped TT toting thug. We tried but could not find the dude and I was relieved. A pepper spray is not much of an offensive weapon against a TT. And as for the heroic-young-man I had no idea what heroism he had in mind if we would have actually found the dude. Since he was so excited I thought it rude to ask him.

Tailpiece.: When I got home and told my mom the whole story she was like do u know how difficult it is to run a house. maybe he had little starving kids… a sister desperate to get married. And u gave him a sau rupay kaa phone!! ( A Rs. 100 rupee phone)

I was like I am sorry i really did not have my wallet with me. I don’t think she believes me. 🙁